One of the most striking things that I quickly came to realize was the power of the family, and by family I mean mom, and by powerful I mean the mothers apron strings. Seems that Italian men, (and I do mean to specify men), cant seem to break the ties with Mama. It is apparent everwhere you look. For me, who I could barely wait to flee the family household and become independent, this was quite the shock. Italian men, on average (actually higher then average, reports say the 80%) stay living with their mothers until the age of 35. Yes, 35! And even when they do move out, more than 60% move to live within one kilometer of their mother's house. (http://www.time.com/time/europe/html/060410/story_2.html)
The proximity allows for the apron strings to be maintained. Thus (and I have seen this first hand), the Italian man can continue to visit Mama for daily lunches or dinners (or both), drop by to have his clothes ironed and washed, and basically continue for all pratical reasons to live at home while sleep in his new place. Mothers claim that their 50 year old sons dont know how to use the washing machine or iron, and really, whats the big deal if they pass by for lunch (every day!), they were going to cook anyways so whats another dinner plate?
But can you imagine what societal impact this has? Men are their mother's babies way into adulthood and cant fend for themselves. I can hardly think of anything less attractive. And its everywhere. Claims that this has to do with high unemployment are valid until a point (why is it that Italian women are not staking the same claims). Seems men love the pampering of their moms and cant let go of it.
Yesterday I tried to convince one such male to strike it on his own. I went on about how great it feels to take care of yourself. How liberating it felt to eat Ramen noodles and worry about the rent and not pick up the phone to ask for money from your parents.
I think I lost him on Ramen noodles. Italians are more obssessed about food than anything. They LOVE their food, and will talk endlessly about a plate of pasta or some sidedish they ate for lunch. And, yes you can guess, no one makes that plate of pasta or loved sidedish like mama.
Maybe its not apron strings after all, maybe its the pasta noodles tying son to mama.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Senseless death...
The headlines in Rome today showed the picture of a grieving mother whose daughter was killed in a senseless attack. It wasn't just that a young girl was killed, but it was HOW that caused the headlines... Her daughter was stabbed in the eye with the tip if an umbrella while on the metro. She died a few days later. You can read more about this on BBC http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6606365.stm
An umbrella... in her eye... dead.
I can't imagine the pain the mother must be feeling, and for her to imagine the death of her daughter, in such a cruel, senseless act.
But what also made the news was the public reaction at the funeral, who quickly took up an anti-immigrant chant... you see, the umbrella belonged to a Romanian, actually a Romanian prostitute. She was filmed soon after the attack walking out of metro, all calm and collected.
As shocking and as horrible as this news was, what struck me is how easy it was to make this into an anti-immigrant attack. Chants such as "we pay all the taxes, they freeload off us" etc. were taken up by many.
Italy is going through a hard time, high unemployment, extra-ordinarily high rents, economic crises, low birth rate (I should add low "italian" birth rate, as the immigrants seem to be having a healthy fertility rate), and all the problems that come when all these things come together. Not a healthy mix.
And I couldnt help but think of this Romanian girl... I am not excusing any part of her senseless, horrible, crime - but let her be tried for her crime, not for the fact that she happens to be Romanian. If she had been Italian, would that have made the crime any less horrible? Or would we have instead focused on the horrible nature of the crime instead of focusing on unrelated issues such as high tax and unemployment.
An umbrella... in her eye... dead.
I can't imagine the pain the mother must be feeling, and for her to imagine the death of her daughter, in such a cruel, senseless act.
But what also made the news was the public reaction at the funeral, who quickly took up an anti-immigrant chant... you see, the umbrella belonged to a Romanian, actually a Romanian prostitute. She was filmed soon after the attack walking out of metro, all calm and collected.
As shocking and as horrible as this news was, what struck me is how easy it was to make this into an anti-immigrant attack. Chants such as "we pay all the taxes, they freeload off us" etc. were taken up by many.
Italy is going through a hard time, high unemployment, extra-ordinarily high rents, economic crises, low birth rate (I should add low "italian" birth rate, as the immigrants seem to be having a healthy fertility rate), and all the problems that come when all these things come together. Not a healthy mix.
And I couldnt help but think of this Romanian girl... I am not excusing any part of her senseless, horrible, crime - but let her be tried for her crime, not for the fact that she happens to be Romanian. If she had been Italian, would that have made the crime any less horrible? Or would we have instead focused on the horrible nature of the crime instead of focusing on unrelated issues such as high tax and unemployment.
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