Its not often that one can go back to revist the taking off point in which all things changed. I recently had the opportunity to go back to DC, the last place I lived prior to making the move to Italy. It was odd, this was my first work trip, and my hotel was literally 4 blocks from my previous job in DC. A job which I thought I would never recover from.
Arriving in the airplane was surreal, I never thought I would be flying into National Airport again, yet here I was. My heart hurt recalling how miserable I was, and how much has changed since the move. DC is a hard place, and it made me a hard person.
Walking in the areas where I used to hang out day in and day out, I could "see" my past self drudging along, dragging myself to work, emerging from the Dupont Circle metro station and praying I could find another job soon before I had to face another day of hell. I felt so free of all this past. It was so liberating knowing it was all behind me.
Being in DC did have its highlights, for one the shopping... things are just so much more easier and convenient shopping wise. The USA is definitely a consumer society, whereas in Italy you buy stuff when you "need" it. I once read somewhere that 10-15% of an American's closet is full of clothes with tags still on it. Think about that for a while, it is astonishing. And because of this constant buying, prices are more competitive. I love that Italy is not an obsessively consumeristic society (is that even a word?), but I dont like what that does to the prices :) I found the perfect balance in living in Italy, and managing to shop in the USA.
Another highlight was the food, ahhhhhhhhh, Thai, Kebab, Indian, sushi all within meters of each other. Though I cant say I missed pasta, I did miss the coffee. A latte (or caffe latte as the barista near my house barks at me each time) is not supposed to be a gallons worth of bad tasting milk diluted with a touch of bad tasting espresso. In Rome you begin to appreciate the creaminess of the milk, and you realize more is not better. My husband can never figure out why in the USA something "free" or "supersized" is coveted. He believes it loses its value, in this case taste, when it is valued for the quantity. I can see his point.
Upon coming back, I was chatting with a friend of mine who has known me for ages. We talked a bit about how miserable I was in DC, and she stated that it was all my doing. "You choose to either live the life you want, or you dont, most obtacles are perceived rather than real." She thought I made myself miserable, as I could have lived any life I chose to live in DC, "there are no social constraints, you chose to be unhappy." I begged to differ, I believe places are like tides, and can pull in certain directions. Some places its easier to be "yourself" than in others. Sometimes the fight is too hard. It's like being in a relationship, I thoroughly believe that certain people can bring out the good or bad in you. Yes, you can "fight" to maintain your identity, but you are also growing within a relationship, just like in a city or country. Some people, like cities, will allow certain parts of you to shine, and smother other characteristics.
I still do not know what changes Italy will bring in me, and how much it is Italy rather than my husband who manages to make me a calmer person (I can just hear him now, "THIS is calmer???"). One of the first things I noted when I moved to Rome was how people were not constantly fretting about work, I quickly called a friend of mine in DC, "You will NOT believe this, but I have been to countless dinners, and NO ONE talks about work, I dont even know what most people DO for a living." She could not believe it, "Well, what in the hell DO they talk about then." And therein you have the difference between the two cities in a nutshell.
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