Oh baby...

I dont think having babies is easy in any part of the world, especially for first time parents... things get especially complicated when you live in a foreign country with no support system, and things get even more complicated when you have twins.

So the boys arrived on a cold January morning, and we have been through a whirlwind of emotions and exhaustion. They are beautiful, if I may say so myself (and yes, I know as a mom I am biased*) and are generally well-behaved. However, it has been 5 months now and I cant recall the last time I got more than 3 hours uninterrupted sleep.

Now in general, Italians love babies... babies are very protected and appreciated... Whereas in other countries I have lived in, namely the USA, a child or baby in a restaurant would be barely tolerated, here they have the run of the place. I dont know if this is because Italians in general love babies or because there is a negative birthrate... would they still be as appreciated if Italians were being the good catholics the Pope is calling for and have 6-7-8 babies per household? Who knows...

But it soon becomes VERY obvious that Rome is a city were children, while appreciated, are however, not expected or accomodated for. These signals include:

1. Sidewalks - where there MAY be a sidewalk, it is usually occupied by a parked car in the middle of the sidewalk adorned on each side with dog poop (dont get me started on the dog poop)

2. Baby items cost a fortune - seriously - I have found it cheaper to buy overseas and have it shipped

3. There are no stores within reasonable distance to buy baby items

4. you soon have to decide whether to save for a college fund for your children or buy them diapers... seeing that one affects us directly, my husband and I chose diapers

5. The above mentioned diapers are not found in the supermarket, as you would imagine, next to toilet paper or paper item, but near the pet food and dog litter - very telling, I think - I could write a whole essay on this alone

6. There are no elevators in train stations or in public buildings, and if there are any, they usually are so small to only fit 2 people standing up (no stroller, and you might as well be insane if you want to imagine a double stroller).

7. Stores and public buildings are not equipped to deal with children - no seats or chairs, no changing rooms or public restrooms, nothing... and this INCLUDES the stores whihch sell baby items (GO FIGURE)

8. No play areas - and the very few that exist are surrounded by dog poop (yes that again)

So it has not been easy... but let me, to be fair, write what I have found incredible about having children in Italy.

1. The whole thing was FREE - ie I did not pay a penny at the hospital (this till now never stops to amaze me - FREE healthcare, how humane)

2. The pediatrician is FREE, yes, and she's NICE - we get monthly visits for free and, from what I understand, house visits if needed (I really need to check on that one)

3. Italians get paternity leave - a lifesaver for us in the first month of having the boys.

4. Italians get "baby" sick days... so when your child is sick, you can actually take the time off (imagine that!!)

5. If you are lucky, there is also state day care, which is subsidized AND from personal research, 100 times better than private day care - its actually nice and pleasant

This post has gone on longer than I expected, but this has been eye opening on so many fronts for me for the past few months. Can a society coinsider itself to be civilized, modern, and humane if it does not care for the most vulnerable, innocent members of its own who are also the future of the country? And why are we amazed when the state or government, to which we pay taxes and elect to represent us, actually assists families in providing and caring for their children?







in Arabic there is a saying that goes: In the eye of the monkey's mother, her child is a gazelle